Changes

In the coming days, BIG things are soon to come.

Tomorrow is my scheduled ultrasound to see if there are any cysts on my ovaries. I am asking for prayers! I am praying that there are NO cysts!

In a few weeks, I will find out if I am pregnant or not. My period is due soon and I am praying and hoping that this is the month.

If it is unfortunately not the month (again), then we won't be able to try again until December because Chris will be going out of town for some training with the Army. I am praying and hoping that we won't even have to worry about that because it is the month!

Halloween will be here soon and I am excited for Wes, but it's also a downer because Chris will be missing the 2nd Halloween in a row! UGHH!! Deployment was a legitimate excuse, but come on! Training, for only 2 people! He is also missing his birthday (again, for the 2nd time in a row), but hey, what can you do. Such is Army life. At least he will be here for his party!

The next big thing is. . . . our baby boy is turning 3! Yes, parents say all the time, "I can't believe my baby is ___, He's/ She's growing up so fast," but it is so true! My little baby is a little boy, a toddler, on his way to taking on the world. I miss it so much! I miss him being little! I go to bed every night and honestly think, "Did I spend enough time with Wes? Did I miss anything? Did I teach him enough today? Did I take enough pictures? Did I miss anything in the pictures? Am I doing enough as his parent? How will he turn out?" That goes through my mind EVERY night. I don't want to miss a thing with Wes. I am a SAHM and I think I will always feel like I miss something or that I don't take enough pictures. I love my boo, he is truly the best thing I have ever done in my life and will do in my life. His smiles melt my heart, his scent gets me drunk, and his kisses warm my soul. I always feel like I am not doing enough for him and I worry all the time I miss moments. I wish I could slow time down and just soak up the time I have with Wes because in the blink of an eye, he will be a teenager going off to school. It breaks my heart to think about, but I know it's what we all do, we all grow up. I know growing up doesn't mean that he doesn't love his mommy, he will always love me, but growing up means he now does more things on his own. I know he will always need me because I will always need my mom. Wes, I love you so much mijo! Nothing you could ever do will change that!

Also, I did not have internet for a whole day and a half! I know, how did I survive! LOL! I thought it sucked at the time, but while I did not have access to facebook creep 24/7, I happily spent it with my precious little boy and my husband! We had a lot of fun! We hung out at the house watched movies, went to the park and actually played with Wes the whole time! Not partially facebook creep, then play; We played from around 4pm until the sun went down! After, we stopped at the commissary to pick up a few things for the rest of the week then home and watched another movie. Chris turned the internet back on, but I absolutely did not miss it! I went to bed that night and had no regrets! I really like not being able to facebook all the time and I even considered deactivating it, but I won't do that because I keep in touch with a lot of old HS friends that way. That being said, I am not going to be getting on facebook a whole lot and I'll try to avoid it. I like blogging and reading blogs after Wes is napping or asleep, so I will continue to do that, but definitely not facebooking a whole lot.

Until next time,

Jena=)

Wes 2 years && 11 months