Deployment: The Transition

I am incredibly academically drained today! Chris has a 4 day this weekend ( LOVING THE ARMY RIGHT NOW!), but like always I have school work to do. I have an 89 average and I am trying to bump that to a high A with 2 more weeks to go in this class. I guess I have senioritis way to early! I still have 4 years to go! Such a long time, but in the end I know it will be worth it. We, well I, do not want to do 20 years in the military so, I want to have a good job by the time Chris is out and we go back to civi life!
          I find it so much harder to get class work done now that deployment is finally over. When Chris was gone I would do it when Wes went to bed or before Wes woke up in the morning. Now, I hate doing it in the evening because I just wanna be with Chris, I do not wanna be wasting my time doing schoolwork when I could be with my soldier. Yes, I know I wouldn't be "wasting" time, but I wanna just soak up the time that we have together. So, I find myself doing my assignments last minute, which I need to quit that asap. I also find it harder to get away with the house being a mess. When Chris was gone, I would get up in the morning and head over to Kim's and look at the house and tell myself I will clean it tomorrow, it was always tomorrow lol. Now, I can't get away with that shenanigans. Since I'm stuck in the freaking house all day (I totaled my car this summer, so I won't be getting a new one until May) due to no car, I have no excuse, but since he is only getting home at around 11am or 12pm (half days since his unit just got back), I just use the excuse that I clean when Wes naps or that I haven't gotten to it yet haha!
          Don't get me wrong I love my husband and I love him being home, but having to be reminded when there are dishes in the sink, or laundry to be washed, or messes to be cleaned really grinds my gears. I know it's there, I just don't feel like doing it at that moment in time lmao. I'm not lazy or a dirty person, I'm just use to doing what I have been doing for a whole year now and I can't just flip a switch.I am trying my hardest to have the patience, but every now and again an angry, not so nice word slips out of my mouth to let Chris know my feelings on his "reminders."
          I love having the extra help with Wes and with the house, it's awesome! The only thing Chris needs is some patience. That's all I ask lol. He is awesome on everything else, but the patience department! He is a great father and Wes just loves him to pieces. We hope to add to our family sometime soon! I can't wait for Wes to finally have a little sibling! He is going to be an awesome big brother. I know things will fall into place and I'll get the hang of things and learn how to balance them with Chris back home just as I did when he left, but it's going to take some time and I know I have the patience to survive this transition. I love my soldier!

Whatever the Army throws our Way, I'll be by your side.

So, I have been missing for a little over a week due to my husband coming back from his first deployment! Yep, we survived our first deployment! Although there have been some rough patches because of him transitioning back into our home, we are ecstatic to finally have him back. It's weird to think that he has been gone for a year. Yes, I know he was gone obviously because we lived through his absence, but I look back on everything and it makes me sad to think of everything he missed while being gone. Our son says full sentences now! Chris left when Wes was 15 months, he came back and he is now 2 years and 3 months, which is a big difference and a huge change.
          While Chris was deployed he decided that he wanted to reenlist, not only for 3 years like we originally planned when he joined, but for 5 years! I do support my husband, but I'm not sure I wanna do this career army lifestyle thing. We've (and yes I say WE because it is us who are in, we all move with Chris and we deal with deployments and training etc etc all together) been in coming up on 4 years, but it feels like forever! I can't even remember how life without the Army was. His date to get out would be September 2012; I just keep thinking that this would be our last full year in the Army. How awesome would that be? No more Army life and moving back home to sweet home Alabama! I would love that! I cannot deny that the Army has been good to us, without it we would not have our sweet little boy, our cars almost paid off, a good chunk of money coming our way, etc. It's been amazing, but I just want our time to be already over with. It would be awesome to get out and get back to normal civi life. I know it won't happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? I don't want to deal with another deployment, but I know if he stays in, it's inevitable. My life is planned around the Army, you plan something without including the Army and they screw up your plans last minute. So, you must always have in the back of your mind to make sure your plans are flexible because 99.9% of the time you will have to change them. I don't know where this journey will take us, but I'll stay on this ride supporting my soldier.


"Deployments last a few months, but our love lasts..forever"         

Deployment Survival Guide

This deployment survival guide was created for those of you who are or will be going through a deployment. Here are a few tips and ideas to help you get through the worst days while your service member is away. Each idea was submitted by members of our community (formerly known as ArmySpouseLife.com). A BIG thank you goes out to everyone who contributed to it.

1. STAY POSITIVE. Take it one day at a time and focus on the present, and look forward to the future. Playing the “what if” game for a long period of time WILL drive you insane. The days only get better!

2. It’s ok to be sad, to cry, and to scream every once in a while. It’s ok to not be ok! Bottling up those emotions are only going to hurt you in the long run. You can talk to someone about it, or write it all down. You’ll feel a lot better after you do. Also, remember that your service member isn’t leaving you just to leave you, this is his/her job. He/she needs you to be strong, especially when he/she needs support. It’s not fair to make them feel guilty, even when you feel justified in doing so.

3. Count down by Sundays (per week) instead of EVERY day. 56 is a much smaller number than 365! Having this kind of countdowns makes the time seem to pass a lot faster.

4. Take this time to learn something new. Grow as a person, learn a new skill, get a new hobby, etc. Your service member will be impressed when he/she gets home. ;)

5. If you can’t seem to pick yourself up out of bed or dry the tears from running down your cheeks stop and think a second if my service member was here right now what would he/she be saying to me? What would they think of my crying now? What would they tell me to do to make it all better? And then if you don’t guilt yourself into stopping at least try to get up and do what you think they might tell you to do. Remember the reason why you are doing this in the first place – because you are in love with the most wonderful man/woman in the world and it will all be worth it in the end.

6. Write in a journal everyday or night. Put down your thoughts, feelings, what you did and anything else. You could then show it to your soldier when he/she gets back. They’ll really enjoy reading about stuff you weren’t able to tell them on emails or phone calls during their deployment.

7. To ensure you don’t go crazy with all your built up conversations you want to share with your service member email them when they come to you. I set my email up to my phone so it feels just like I’m texting him still. And then when we do get to talk we touch on what I sent him or just have a whole new conversation. It makes me feel like we get to talk more often than we actually get to.

8. Take pictures or videos of random moments you & your service member have. Something that has been wonderful for us are the videos I took before my husband left. Now, these are just basic 1 minute long videos of my soldier brushing his teeth, telling me funny jokes, etc. I used my camera & my cell phone for these..they both have a video setting. Super easy & then I uploaded them onto my computer. On down days when I just needed a smile, a laugh or to hear his voice… I get to hit play and there he is.

9. Keep yourself busy. I volunteer at the school my kids go to, at church and community every chance I get. It keeps me so busy that I am not thinking about my spouse all the time and getting depressed about it. While I am working I am able to talk to other spouses that are going through the same thing or have similar interests.

10. Get a box to put all your keepsakes in. I have printed off our texts & emails & put them in our special box. They go right along with all our little momentos, letters & cards we’ve given each other so far. We will really enjoy reading over these one day. This is also a great way to keep yourself busy; decorate it, add more to it, etc.

11. Let your friends be there for you. They will never understand what you are going through, but they CAN listen and they mean well.

12. Make friends with people on sites like this! They are the only people that can ever truly understand what you feel, and people who are on these sites truly want to help you and can become your very best friends, even if you never meet them in person.

13. Have a family plan! Make sure all paperwork is in order. Make sure you have given your spouse the correct POA (Power of Attorney). Some may ask “What is a family plan?” Without your spouse with you, it’s important to carry on the normal task of paying bills, making purchases and taking care of the family. A lot of decisions can be made before the deployment. What do I pay? What do I save? On big purchases, what do I buy? My husband and I not only discuss the unpleasant what ifs, but the what is too. Taking charge of a deployment in your life can become a positive personal adventure. You have the ability and responsibility to meet your spouse at the end of the deployment: a whole person, who has grown personally and has continued the task of moving your family forward.

14. Keep pictures of the both of you together in your nightstand, purse, car, etc. That way every time you look at them you can relive that moment and how much you love & care about each other. :)

15. Try to maintain some sense of normalcy, the more routine you make things, the faster the time will go! Continue to do things like go to the movies, go shopping with friends, etc. Whether you are living your life or curled up in a ball of tears for the next year, your service member will not come home any faster, so you just as soon make the best of it and enjoy every single second you get to chat online or talk on the phone with your loved one!

16. Let this be a positive experience for your relationship. Whether this is your S.O, family member, or friend we’re talking about here, let this deployment bring you closer and make you stronger together. Be there for each other. It can only bring you apart if you LET it. No amount of time or distance can change how you feel about each other unless you both let that happen!

(I did not write this; came across this in  a facebook note, GREAT for anyone about to or going through a deployment, especially your 1st!)

Snow In the Desert

Wes enjoying the snow at home.

He is 2 years&&3 months old.

It's snowing! I am loving this! It almost never snows in central Alabama, which is where I was born and raised. I am not about to get on the road, one of 2 reasons. One being, I don't have airbags (that's another story for another day) and two being that El Pasoans and myself included, have no idea how to drive on the roads. So, we are stuck inside and enjoying a snow day. I built a snowbaby, it can't even be called a snowman because it's no bigger than toddler. Pretty sad, but it will suffice my need to build one for now. Sophia, my sweet kitty is somewhere out in this horrible mess. She has now been officially missing for a whole day! I am worried about getting her back, but there were pawprints in the snow this morning so I am hopeful she is close, just taking refuge somewhere warm.