I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

So, Aunt Flow paid me a visit yesterday. I was bummed at first, but then I realized that hey, at least my period is actually making an appearance. The past few months Aunt Flow hasn't even bothered to make a visit every month. So first, I should look at that as a complete blessing and I am. For those that are like, what? She's sad her period showed up? I was sad because we have made the decision to add to our family.

The plan was (the plan was determined when Wes was an infant) to start trying for a baby when Wes turned 18 months. Well, of course plans change and in our case the Army changed up our plans. Chris was not supposed to deploy until 2011 because the unit that he was assigned to had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment, so I was not worried at all. At that time, it was middle of March 2009 and Wes was not even a year old yet. A few months later, I think around October 2009, Chris came home with some news. He was going to be deployed with another unit because they needed more numbers and he hadn't been deployed yet. His unit had just gotten back, so obviously he would be the first choice to be picked. I was devastated to say the least. You hear "deployment" and your heart just stops beating for a second. I was scared especially since there was word he would be sent to Afghan. I knew that wasn't a good place, so I was definitely worried.

My second thought in all of this was how were we going to go about adding to our family? I had already practically gone through a pregnancy, labor, and the first 6 months without my husband (thanks to the Army once again lol), so repeating that adventure was not really on my list of things to do. Wes was 11 months when we decided to hold off for babies until he came back. I was sad, but I knew that it was the best thing.

Fast-forward to November 2010, Chris was home on R&R. We planned to try then because he would not miss much of my pregnancy if I were to get pregnant then. He was coming back in a couple months for good and nothing monumental would have happened with a pregnancy yet. I unfortunately did not ovulate on R&R & I did not conceive.

Fast-forward to February 2011, a few days before Chris came home I ovulated and when he finally did come home, I started my period a few days later. Total bummer, but I wasn't worried because now he would actually be home and we could start seriously trying.

March 2011, came and went, so did Aunt Flow. I think by the time March came I was a little worried and wondering why it was not happening.

Then, April comes with NO period, at first I thought I was pregnant, but many tests confirmed that to be a BFN! May also came with no period and finally June, also with no period! I was extremely peeved and also worried about what was going on with my body. I did not see a doctor, but started working out with my sister while I was in Alabama. A few weeks later after I started working-out, my period finally comes back! I was so SO so excited to see Aunt Flow. Finally, I could start trying and possibly get pregnant soon. My only problem was I would be stuck in Alabama until late August with no sperm lol. Chris was back in Texas.

Finally, September came and I was so excited because finally things were back on track. Well, THE week I was fertile & ovulating, I get a frickin' yeast infection! Just my damn luck! We had sex once that week towards the end of my meds, but I was pretty sure nothing was gonna happen.

That brings us to today! I am officially counting this month as the first month of trying because we are together and will be able to try and my periods are now back on track. Very thankful for that! This will be the last time we will be able to try because Chris will have training next month out of state and he will be missing my ovulation, so if I am not pregnant next month, we will have November and December, then January he is gone again with more training (yay, Army!).

I am definitely NOT worried, the past 2 weeks I feel like I am closer to God with going to mass and actually soaking up what the priest has to say. I told God that I trust in him and believe that when he thinks I am ready to be blessed with another little miracle that he will send them our way. I used to be envious and want to be pregnant so bad that I did not wanna hear people complain about it and hear their crap. Now, I feel like I can be happy for them and still want a baby myself. I know when they complain about morning sickness, backaches, etc, that I will still be thinking that I would give anything to be feeling that way; with a life growing inside of me. But, I'll wait my turn, until it's our turn to dance.