We have been so lazy the last couple of days! We celebrated Thanksgiving at my aunt's house and it was great! The only thing I wish was that I would have bought a turkey so we could have plenty of leftovers! I was feeling lazy so I never bought one and my mouth is just watering for some turkey! ahh!
Chris is still recovering from surgery and it sucks! Not for him but for me. I don't have a problem catering to him it just sucks having no help and it's not his fault. He cannot put any pressure on his foot because if he messes it up they will have to go in and fix it again; if they can't, they will have to amputate the toe. I think it's more work now than when he was deployed. I have to make sure he has everything he needs, do everything with Wes, the dog, the cats, and the house. Tomorrow I start my English class back so I will be adding that in the mix. I just cannot wait until he is better!
Earlier this week, I had inquired about some jobs on Craigslist for Daycare workers. I got an email and sent the director my resume. This job would be amazing to get because Wes would be able to get some kid interaction everyday and I wouldn't feel like I was ditching him because I would be in the same place. I also realized that if I am serious about my future career as an educator I need to get a job that is partially linked with what I wanna do after I graduate. I have only have one job:chick-fil-a at 15 for 2 1/2 years and then I moved with Chris to Texas. We decided to have a baby and I wasn't going to work and go to school. I would never see Wes, so I have never had another job. I do not regret the time that I have stayed home with Wes! I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. Looking at my resume, I know that if I want a job as a teacher, I will need to get some "working" experience instead of just "volunteer" experience. My ultimate goal before graduating would be to be a daycare teacher to 3 or 4 year olds. I have my teacher aide career diploma, but ultimately I need my bachelor's to work as a kindergarten teacher, which is what I want to do. Snagging this job would allow me to have an advantage over girls in Alabama who work as daycare teachers, but only have their HS diploma. There are so many openings there that I am just so excited!! Anyway, crossing my fingers to get a call back.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Today just plain sucks!
Today I am feeling hopeless, mentally exhausted, and sad=( I realized today, one year ago, Chris was on R&R and we started trying for another baby. Well as you all know, I still don't have a second child and it sucks. I keep thinking back and thinking that I waited to long, we should have stuck with our original plan and TTC when Wes turned one even though Chris was about to leave for deployment. Maybe if we had, I would have two babies running around. I haven't started my period, but I just feel like I will. I don't have symptoms of my period, but after so long I just think all my "symptoms" are in my head. Chris isn't worried and says it will happen when it happens, but will it? What is so wrong with me that I can't get pregnant like I did with Wes. I have so many questions especially for God. Ughhh! I want my BFP, but how long will I have to wait? My fertility doctor said he was hopeful that I would be pregnant within 3 months and I went to him in October. If this isn't my month then I only have 1 more until the 3 months he gave me. Today just plain sucks!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
This Past Week!
So, I have sooo much to update on! Wes had his 3 year check up on Monday and he is perfect! He weights 38 1/2 lbs and that lands him in the 95th percentile for weight. He is 39 1/2 in tall, which lands him in the 75th percentile for the rest of the kids his age.
On Wednesday, Chris was playing kickball for PT. When he was running for a base, his foot went the wrong way and he broke 3 toes in 4 places. He has been in extreme pain and he can't really do anything useful, which stinks lol. I hope he starts to feel better soon.
Friday was Veteran's Day so we went to Applebee's because Chris ate free there. It was yummy as usual! I love Applebee's! Then after that we were supposed to take Wes to the movies, but Chris's foot was killing him so we decided to go another day. That night we just watched movies and had family time.
Today, we went to Victoria's Fajita Birthday Dinner at my Aunt Lori's. Delicious!!! I saw all my little cousins! Victoria and Alyssa are my 2 oldest baby cousins and they are getting so big! I remember them being little babies and we always had to watch Alyssa because she was always beating Victoria up! It was fun to catch up with everybody. Chris had to miss it because he had Staff Duty, but we still had a blast. Wes was shy at first, but then he warmed up and quickly played with all the little kids. Although I miss Alabama dearly I love having my family around, just missing my girls!!
Speaking of my girls, I cannot wait until they are here!! A little over a month and I get to see them! I cannot wait!! It will have been 4 monthss! Way to long! My baby sis graduates this year, so Wes and I will be going to Alabama in May! Such a blessed life that God has given me!
On Wednesday, Chris was playing kickball for PT. When he was running for a base, his foot went the wrong way and he broke 3 toes in 4 places. He has been in extreme pain and he can't really do anything useful, which stinks lol. I hope he starts to feel better soon.
Friday was Veteran's Day so we went to Applebee's because Chris ate free there. It was yummy as usual! I love Applebee's! Then after that we were supposed to take Wes to the movies, but Chris's foot was killing him so we decided to go another day. That night we just watched movies and had family time.
Today, we went to Victoria's Fajita Birthday Dinner at my Aunt Lori's. Delicious!!! I saw all my little cousins! Victoria and Alyssa are my 2 oldest baby cousins and they are getting so big! I remember them being little babies and we always had to watch Alyssa because she was always beating Victoria up! It was fun to catch up with everybody. Chris had to miss it because he had Staff Duty, but we still had a blast. Wes was shy at first, but then he warmed up and quickly played with all the little kids. Although I miss Alabama dearly I love having my family around, just missing my girls!!
Speaking of my girls, I cannot wait until they are here!! A little over a month and I get to see them! I cannot wait!! It will have been 4 monthss! Way to long! My baby sis graduates this year, so Wes and I will be going to Alabama in May! Such a blessed life that God has given me!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
My Baby Boy, who isn't such a baby, turns 3!
So, O-M-G! November 6th is here!! This is the day 3 years ago that my life changed forever in every way! Now, I am not going into a long speech about my amazing son and blog about my love for him because I do it on a regular basis, but if your that interested just read my birth story haha.
Anyway, I know everyone hears this all the time, but they grow SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast! It's not a lie! They really do! Wes is such an amazing little dude! Not many people know just how intelligent and how lively he is when he warms up to you. Wes inherited my shyness, so he isn't himself around you until he knows you and is comfortable with you. So, if he has ever been outgoing around you consider yourself lucky haha.
I love him so much and he melts my heart when he tells me "I love you princess" or "I love you crazy girl" or my favorite "I love you beautiful." He is the sweetest boy!
I know I have only been a mommy for 3 years, but I feel like I have learned a whole bunch and I probably won't stop learning. I don't stress about milestones and what he should be doing when and what age and blah blah blah. I spent way to much time hoping he crawls at this age, walks at this age, that when he was doing these things, I wondered to myself why the hell I was wishing for him to grow up. Savor every minute of it! Even the stay up all nights crying over nothing, throwing a silly tantrum because he wanted to press the play button. I roll my eyes when my son does this lol, but I savor it. One day my house will be way to quiet because he will be all grown up and out of the house. I know that one day I will wish my house was noisy again.
Any girl who thinks she is snagging up my little guy better love and appreciate him as much as I do, but I doubt that because no one can love him more than me! hehe, I probably sound like some future crazy mother-in-law! I promised Wes I wouldn't as long as he brings home a nice girl. lmao.
Anyway, I am gonna enjoy the day with my little man and my husband! Yep, my freaking husband scared the freaking bujesus outta me coming through the door at like 12am! When I saw the green Army bags, I thought a hobo had broken it lmao! Wes loved the surprise and the best thing is he isn't missing his actual birthday!!! Yayyyy!!!!!!!! Wes wanted to see the 'Puss in Boots' movie so we may eat out, movie, and cake and ice cream! I can't wait till his party! I am just so happy Chris gets to be here(:
oopsiess! Remember how I said this wasn't going to be a sappy 'I love my son' blog? Well, too bad haters! He turns 3 today, so suck it!
Anyway, I know everyone hears this all the time, but they grow SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast! It's not a lie! They really do! Wes is such an amazing little dude! Not many people know just how intelligent and how lively he is when he warms up to you. Wes inherited my shyness, so he isn't himself around you until he knows you and is comfortable with you. So, if he has ever been outgoing around you consider yourself lucky haha.
I love him so much and he melts my heart when he tells me "I love you princess" or "I love you crazy girl" or my favorite "I love you beautiful." He is the sweetest boy!
I know I have only been a mommy for 3 years, but I feel like I have learned a whole bunch and I probably won't stop learning. I don't stress about milestones and what he should be doing when and what age and blah blah blah. I spent way to much time hoping he crawls at this age, walks at this age, that when he was doing these things, I wondered to myself why the hell I was wishing for him to grow up. Savor every minute of it! Even the stay up all nights crying over nothing, throwing a silly tantrum because he wanted to press the play button. I roll my eyes when my son does this lol, but I savor it. One day my house will be way to quiet because he will be all grown up and out of the house. I know that one day I will wish my house was noisy again.
Any girl who thinks she is snagging up my little guy better love and appreciate him as much as I do, but I doubt that because no one can love him more than me! hehe, I probably sound like some future crazy mother-in-law! I promised Wes I wouldn't as long as he brings home a nice girl. lmao.
Anyway, I am gonna enjoy the day with my little man and my husband! Yep, my freaking husband scared the freaking bujesus outta me coming through the door at like 12am! When I saw the green Army bags, I thought a hobo had broken it lmao! Wes loved the surprise and the best thing is he isn't missing his actual birthday!!! Yayyyy!!!!!!!! Wes wanted to see the 'Puss in Boots' movie so we may eat out, movie, and cake and ice cream! I can't wait till his party! I am just so happy Chris gets to be here(:
oopsiess! Remember how I said this wasn't going to be a sappy 'I love my son' blog? Well, too bad haters! He turns 3 today, so suck it!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Clomid Virgin
I am finally off provera (meds used to start a period, when it doesn't come naturally; at least that what it is doing for me)! Yay! I am so happy because it made me so sick! Especially coupled with my food posing mixed with Halloween; I had to get my ass in gear and make sure Wes had a fabulous time! If I didn't have Wes I would have been in bed with my netflix feeling sorry for myself lol.
Tomorrow will be day 5 of my cycle so I will start taking my clomid! I am excited and nervous because I don't know how my body will react. I used to think that women who took fertility meds where exaggerating the effects; however, when I started them I sooo understood what they were talking about. It will definitely be worth it, no doubt.
Tomorrow will be day 5 of my cycle so I will start taking my clomid! I am excited and nervous because I don't know how my body will react. I used to think that women who took fertility meds where exaggerating the effects; however, when I started them I sooo understood what they were talking about. It will definitely be worth it, no doubt.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
You will always be Enough
In past blogs I have written that I love my son to death, but he isn't enough to curb my want for more children. Well, Friday night when I took him to the Monster Bash on post that all changed.
The bash was lame, but Wes and I had an absolute blast! I watched him play and run around and call me over to help him do stuff and I got lost in the moment. It hit me right there that Wes is more than enough! If he is the only child that we are able to have that will be more than okay. I have this amazing little life that depends on me and loves me and anyone who can't be happy with that is being blinded by something. I know I was! I so wanted another baby that I couldn't fully enjoy and get lost in moments with Wes without thinking to myself what if we had another little one running around. That is going to change! I at least have accomplished the one thing in life I have ALWAYS wanted; to have a child! So, to me that is more than enough. I am no longer going to think about future children until there is one growing in my belly! My focus is Wes and his happiness and ahhhhh that little boy melts my heart!! He is so smart, so very funny, so witty, and sooo fun! He is a blast!
He will be 3 on Nov. 6th and I want to bawl my eyes out!! Not because I am sad, but because I just look back from where he started, in my belly, and now to the amazing little boy he has become! I do think that I should have spent more time with him soaking up every little moment, but then I think about it, I always have. I can remember everything about the day he was born and I thank God for giving me a superb memory. I remember the tiny kicks, I remember the moment and the pain when I went into labor, I remember the moment they pulled him from my belly, I remember his first cry, I remember exactly what he looked like when I laid my eyes on him for the first time, he was absolutely gorgeous, the tremendous amount of pride I felt when I held him for the first time, going home with him, the way he fit perfectly in my arms every time I held him, I remember the sadness I felt because Chris missed out on so much, I remember my mother and sister always being there to do anything they could to help, I remember the way he used to drink his bottle so loud at church it echoed lmao, the smell of his baby breath (my most favorite smell EVER), how excited I was when he started crawling, then finally walking! I remember every hug, kiss, and "I love you," thank you so much God for Wes!
I could not imagine life without my poohz and I am so glad I got to meet you early in life because it means I can love you longer.
(just bawled my eyes out writing this! damn you fertility meds lol)
The bash was lame, but Wes and I had an absolute blast! I watched him play and run around and call me over to help him do stuff and I got lost in the moment. It hit me right there that Wes is more than enough! If he is the only child that we are able to have that will be more than okay. I have this amazing little life that depends on me and loves me and anyone who can't be happy with that is being blinded by something. I know I was! I so wanted another baby that I couldn't fully enjoy and get lost in moments with Wes without thinking to myself what if we had another little one running around. That is going to change! I at least have accomplished the one thing in life I have ALWAYS wanted; to have a child! So, to me that is more than enough. I am no longer going to think about future children until there is one growing in my belly! My focus is Wes and his happiness and ahhhhh that little boy melts my heart!! He is so smart, so very funny, so witty, and sooo fun! He is a blast!
He will be 3 on Nov. 6th and I want to bawl my eyes out!! Not because I am sad, but because I just look back from where he started, in my belly, and now to the amazing little boy he has become! I do think that I should have spent more time with him soaking up every little moment, but then I think about it, I always have. I can remember everything about the day he was born and I thank God for giving me a superb memory. I remember the tiny kicks, I remember the moment and the pain when I went into labor, I remember the moment they pulled him from my belly, I remember his first cry, I remember exactly what he looked like when I laid my eyes on him for the first time, he was absolutely gorgeous, the tremendous amount of pride I felt when I held him for the first time, going home with him, the way he fit perfectly in my arms every time I held him, I remember the sadness I felt because Chris missed out on so much, I remember my mother and sister always being there to do anything they could to help, I remember the way he used to drink his bottle so loud at church it echoed lmao, the smell of his baby breath (my most favorite smell EVER), how excited I was when he started crawling, then finally walking! I remember every hug, kiss, and "I love you," thank you so much God for Wes!
I could not imagine life without my poohz and I am so glad I got to meet you early in life because it means I can love you longer.
(just bawled my eyes out writing this! damn you fertility meds lol)
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Bee-yatchiness
So, I have so much to say and vent about! First off, my last blog I said that I was testing to see if I am pregnant because I was late. Unfortunately, no baby "E" in the oven=( I was sad, I'm not going to lie, but I keep telling myself when Chris comes back from this training mission I start Clomid and things will look up!
Anyway, when my period doesn't come and I am not pregnant, I was prescribed Medroxy Progesterone, which jump starts my period. Today is day 2 of 10 of my Progesterone pills and I have not started my period. I am really hoping it comes soon!!
I feel like these pills are bringing my mood down. The past two days I have been on them, I have just felt so "blahhh". I really hope these next few days that I am on them fly by because I hate the way I feel. I have also felt myself become a little bitter with these pills and I am trying to nip it in the bud. I'm like telling myself, Jena, seriously calm down, your time will come and it will be soon! I think the remaining 8 days, I am going to be a super bitch! I have no sympathy for people who get knocked up and are mad about it or can't handle their kids and pawn them off on people or who just abuse their kids. I don't sympathize with you. If this sounds bitter, it's my pills talking!
I have a baby shower coming up for someone that I am in no way close too. I really don't feel like it is the best thing for me to do. If it were one of my friends, I would be there in a second! I also would be super happy for them, but not for this person. Nope! I am not going to put myself through that and pretend I am happy for someone when I am most definitely not!
So, to keep my mind off this baby business, I have just been focusing on Wes! I love that little boy! He brightens up my days!! Chris is off to training for 3 weeks and it will just be me and my baby boy! I know we will have fun! Anyway, I just needed to get my feelings out and I feel a little better, but I cannot wait to get off this medicine I HATE it!!!
Anyway, when my period doesn't come and I am not pregnant, I was prescribed Medroxy Progesterone, which jump starts my period. Today is day 2 of 10 of my Progesterone pills and I have not started my period. I am really hoping it comes soon!!
I feel like these pills are bringing my mood down. The past two days I have been on them, I have just felt so "blahhh". I really hope these next few days that I am on them fly by because I hate the way I feel. I have also felt myself become a little bitter with these pills and I am trying to nip it in the bud. I'm like telling myself, Jena, seriously calm down, your time will come and it will be soon! I think the remaining 8 days, I am going to be a super bitch! I have no sympathy for people who get knocked up and are mad about it or can't handle their kids and pawn them off on people or who just abuse their kids. I don't sympathize with you. If this sounds bitter, it's my pills talking!
I have a baby shower coming up for someone that I am in no way close too. I really don't feel like it is the best thing for me to do. If it were one of my friends, I would be there in a second! I also would be super happy for them, but not for this person. Nope! I am not going to put myself through that and pretend I am happy for someone when I am most definitely not!
So, to keep my mind off this baby business, I have just been focusing on Wes! I love that little boy! He brightens up my days!! Chris is off to training for 3 weeks and it will just be me and my baby boy! I know we will have fun! Anyway, I just needed to get my feelings out and I feel a little better, but I cannot wait to get off this medicine I HATE it!!!
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