Today just plain sucks!

Today I am feeling hopeless, mentally exhausted, and sad=( I realized  today, one year ago, Chris was on R&R and we started trying for another baby. Well as you all know, I still don't have a second child and it sucks. I keep thinking back and thinking that I waited to long, we should have stuck with our original plan and TTC when Wes turned one even though Chris was about to leave for deployment. Maybe if we had, I would have two babies running around. I haven't started my period, but I just feel like I will. I don't have symptoms of my period, but after so long I just think all my "symptoms" are in my head. Chris isn't worried and says it will happen when it happens, but will it? What is so wrong with me that I can't get pregnant like I did with Wes. I have so many questions especially for God. Ughhh! I want my BFP, but how long will I have to wait? My fertility doctor said he was hopeful that I would be pregnant within 3 months and I went to him in October. If this isn't my month then I only have 1 more until the 3 months he gave me. Today just plain sucks!