Wes Allen Evanko

Yes, my baby is 2 years and 7 months old, but it's never to late to tell a birth story. I've always wanted to write it, but I would just put it on the back burner and forget about it; then never write it (obviously). But today is that day!


My due date was Friday, November 7th, 2008 with our precious little boy, who we would name Wes Allen Evanko. We didn't pick any names for any special meaning or even after a family  member or anything like that. We picked his first name because we loved it and his second because it sounded nice together.


We were staying with my Aunt Lori and my Uncle Jessie; along with my mother and sister because I was moving back to Alabama to live with my mother and sister to save money and finish out the school year in order to graduate with my class. We had just moved out of our apartment at Whispering Pines in El Paso. I had not even picked out any boy names because I was dead set on the baby being a girl. Boy was I wrong! After we came back from the doctor we started brainstorming, as we pulled up my mother is standing there with the biggest smile saying "I told you it was a boy!." Chris and I went inside and somehow ended up in my aunt's bathroom and I said how about Wes? All the other names I had picked out he hated. Chris is an extremely picky person haha. He thought the name over for a little bit and I could tell he didn't absolutely hate it because he didn't make "the face" and say a curse word lol. He said you only wanna name him that because you liked the guy I played football with in HS. No, that was not the reason and the guy's name was Wesley not Wes. I have always liked the name Wesley, but never for me to go and name my kids that. I got it from my mother who said if she ever had a boy his name would be John Wesley Owens, so I guess the liking stuck? Maybe, I'm not sure really. Anyway, Chris liked the name Wes, not Wesley we both agreed we did not want our son to be named Wesley. It just did not fit him or us. I said okay now that we have his first name, pick out his middle name. We went through quite a few and finally settled on Allen. It was perfect, it flowed very well with Wes and I couldn't have liked it better. So, there is was our future child's name! Wes Allen Evanko. I just (like right now) looked up the meanings of his names and they are quite interesting.

Wes
The West Meadow
	Gender: Male Origin: German

Allen
Fair, Handsome
	Gender: Male Origin: Celtic/Gaelic

He definitely fills out his name.

Thursday, October 31, 2008, I went to my OB, Dr. Sharp for my 39 week check up, who told me baby was doing fantastic and that I was 1 cm dilated. We also talked about the fact that I may be growing a biggin' in there. I wasn't really worried at the time. We talked about scheduling an induction for the Tuesday, November 4th, 2008. 

I called Chris, who was already in Texas at Fort Bliss for his Advanced Individual Training. He was not happy because he would not be allowed to come home until Friday after his last test. He was still in AIT, so he wasn't entitled to the standard 10 days of paternity leave that regular soldiers would get. He told me to try to get induced later, so I called my doctor and asked to be induced on Friday. Well his nurses called back and said that he already had a few scheduled that day and was booked. So, I decided that I was okay with being induced on Thursday, November 6th, 2008 at 5:00am. That way, it would give Chris time to fly in the next morning and it meant he probably wouldn't miss the birth! I was kind of irritated with Chris not really getting the fact that babies don't decide to come out just whenever, but now that I look back on it, I realize that he just wanted to see his first child come into this world. I hadn't missed school all week, I went Monday and Tuesday, but didn't attend Wednesday since I would be getting induced on Thursday and figured I needed time to get things in order and comprehended what was really about to happen; becoming a mother! I never had any braxton-hicks contractions and my pregnancy was amazing! I did not have any complications the only thing I'd complain about was all my swelling! I retained water that none other, which in turn made me gain around 65lbs through-out my pregnancy.

At around 11:15pm on Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 I laid down to go to bed. Right as I pulled the covers up over my shoulders I had the sharpest pain I had ever felt in my life. It wrapped around my whole lower back and below my big pregnant belly. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in labor. I compare contractions to period cramps x 100. It's like all those months of  not having a period have finally caught up with you.

I got back out of bed turned on the light and yelled for my mother down the hall. I told her that I'm having contractions and I need to get to the doctor. Well, my mother told me to go back to sleep that there was no way I was in labor (coming from a women who never went in to labor or had contractions and had 2 cesareans). I got a little angry because I was in pain and here is my mother trying to sleep soundly in her bed with no pain. She finally got the drift and I woke my sister up and we all three got into the car. I told my mom to call my doctor because I was in no way in any state to talk on the phone. She PARKS in the drive-way and calls. I told her she needed to DRIVE and drive fast! She got the picture and we headed to Birmingham to St. Vincent's Hospital 30 miles from Alabaster. We do have Shelby Baptist in Alabaster, but no way in hell was I giving birth at that place! 

It was the slowest drive of my life! I don't know what was going through my mother' head, but she decided to take the scenic route! Yes, the scenic route! So here we go, hitting all the red lights in Birmingham that is possible. We stop at this one light close to UAB and this freaky guy comes out of now where and looks like he is coming up to our window! I yell at my mom to just go it was midnight and no one was on the street. She was like what if I get a ticket? I said your not gonna get a ticket just go mom. I was highly irritated by this point. On the way my sister called Chris and my mom called my in laws. Chris wanted to talk to me and said a few encouraging words that meant the world to me since he wasn't able to fly in until Friday.

We FIANLLY get to St. Vincent's and we go up to L&D, walk up to the nurse's station. They were so nice and asked if I needed a wheel chair because of my contractions. I declined and then when I was walking, what seemed like a never ending hall, I asked myself what the hell I was thinking when I said no. I got to my room and the nurse gave me a gown and I went to the bathroom to change, then I felt like I had to poop so I sat on the toliet, no poop, but the contractions kept giving me the urge lol. I got in my bed and got my IV and all that good stuff. I think my next decision was made because I was young and if I had done more research I would have opted for a natural birth (no drugs). I chose to have an epidural. I don't regret it, just a decision I won't make again. I think because I was so upset that Chris would not be able to be there played a part also. So, I got my epiduaral around 1am Thursday, November 6th, 2008. After that I got some amazing sleep! I woke up around maybe 9am the next morning and was totally feeling the urge to push. I told my nurse and so I started pushing and pushed for hours. Wes came down and they saw his hair and that is about as far down as he was coming. He got stuck and every time I pushed his heart rate dropped so I had to get some oxygen. My doctor came in and said that after 3 1/2hours of pushing that he was not gonna come out and that it would be safer to get a c-section. I agreed and so they made arrangements in one of the operating rooms. The doctor went to page the OR and accidentally pressed code blue! I was thinking and this guy is about to cut me open? God help me! Well then the nurses and doctors did not know exactly when I should get my c-section, I was thinking I would like to have it now! As soon as I had stopped pushing, I got chills and started shaking and it hurt so bad because my body was still trying to push Wes out and he was stuck. I remember thinking I did not care what happened to the baby I just wanted it out! Of course I did not mean it, I was just in so much pain that I was thinking not-so-good-thoughts. I regretted it the moment I thought it and to this day am ashamed.

I was prepped for surgery they rolled me in the OR. My mom had to wait outside until they prepped everything else. I remember being rolled in and it was so surreal. It was scary, with the lights and seeing all the instruments they would be using on me. I was SCARED! It was like Grey's Anatomy x1000! They fianlly let my mom come in and she held my hand. I could hear the doctors talking about plans for that night (really your cutting me open, talk about the baby or something lol) and I was like WTF! Anyway, my mom peered over the tarp and was about to open her mouth when I told her not to look and don't say anything! I had watched all those baby stories on TLC and I knew what was going on behind that curtain.

My biggest fear was feeling them cut me open.Well I didn't fell it, just them tugging at my stomach and then I felt them try to turn and twist Wes because he obviously had gotten stuck and his head was not coming out of my vagina so there was some tugging and then a great weight lifted. At about the same time the weight was lifted I heard both doctors exclaim about Wes being huge and that they were holding a future NFL star. Then I heard the most amazing sound ever, Wes' first cry! It was amazing and I couldn't believe he was finally here! I couldn't wait to see him(: 

They brought him around to me and he was PERFECT! He was crying and had a tint of blue cause he was losing oxygen, but other than that is was fine! Right then I kicked myself (not literally, I was on a operating table) for not having my mom bring in the camera. 

They sewed me up and rolled me back to my room. I faintly remember this because I was so drugged, but I remember waking up to my FIL holding Wes and I told him to give him to me. I was a little pissed off that I hadn't even held Wes and here he is being passed around and already had his diaper changed, actually I was extremely pissed off, I can't lie! I got him and it was absloutly amazing to hold my little boy! I had waited 9 months for him and here he was. 

I couldn't really enjoy holding him because I was so drugged I was really sleepy so my mom had to take him from me:(  They had me on a morphine drip and it did nothing for me! I cried in pain and it was a miserable few hours after I had him. Finally they gave me the "good stuff" Oxycontin<3 It took my pain away and I was finally not doubled over in pain crying all the time. I could enjoy my visitors!

Wes had his newborn pics done and my mom surprised me by paying for them and buying me a locket with his picture in it.

Finally on Friday Chris walked through the door and I couldn't have been any happier, it had been 4 months since Chris had last saw me! I was so excited to show him our baby! The smile he wore was priceless. I knew he had fallen in love with Wes just as I had. We had now become a family of 3! 

 

The nurse would come in at like 3 am and make me get up and walk! Boy, I hated her then. When I stood up for the first time since having Wes I thought I was gonna pull my stomach apart. Oh how it hurt!

On Saturday night, Chris had fallen asleep and I had kept Wes in the room since on Sunday we would be going home and I wanted to see all this talk about "sleepless nights." Well I still couldn't really stand cause of the pain and Wes had started crying. Chris was on the couch fast asleep (when he's asleep, he's asleep!), so I managed to get Wes out of his NB bed.Then later Chris and Wes had fallen asleep on the couch and I was so worried that he had been squashed so I got my catheter and rain over doubled in pain to see that Wes was just fine.  Well since I was up, I decided to walked around and clean my room up! The best part about my stay was my room. I had labored in there and it was also my postpartum room all to myself.

When I finally peed by myself I thought my entire upper body was gonna poor through my pee hole! It didn't hurt, just felt really awkward.

We got released the next day and I broke all the rules and sat in the front with Chris lol. 

Our first night wasn't bad, Wes went to bed at 9pm then right as Chris and I were about to sleep he woke up and Chris fed him because he knew I was in some serious pain. After he fed Wes, he slept until 7 the next morning. We slept on the couch because it was low and didnt feel painful when I moved. Chris was awesome! He helped out so much. 

Wes bilirubin levels were high so we had to go to his pedi and get his levels checked the next day (Monday).


So, we went in Monday got his levels checked and his levels went down a little, but not a whole lot so we were told to come back Tuesday. Wes also had lost a couple of ounces which took him down to 9lb and a few oz.


Tuesday we went and his levels were at a good range. It was also the day Chris left so after he packed and we headed to the airport. It was the saddest thing. He was leaving us:( We were saying goodbye and a girl who worked at pizza hut in the airport started crying because she said it was so sad. I hugged him one last time and he walked away and it was Just Wes and me now. The next time we would see him would be in March, Wes would be 4 months old (we would only stay a week or so), then we wouldn't see him until Wes was 6 months old and finally we would all 3 live together. It wasn't easy being away from Chris while we started our family and there were tears shed, but it certainly made us stronger<3 <3

Wes Allen Evanko

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

10lbs, 3oz & 21 1/4in.

at 1:12pm

 

Deployment: The Transition

I am incredibly academically drained today! Chris has a 4 day this weekend ( LOVING THE ARMY RIGHT NOW!), but like always I have school work to do. I have an 89 average and I am trying to bump that to a high A with 2 more weeks to go in this class. I guess I have senioritis way to early! I still have 4 years to go! Such a long time, but in the end I know it will be worth it. We, well I, do not want to do 20 years in the military so, I want to have a good job by the time Chris is out and we go back to civi life!
          I find it so much harder to get class work done now that deployment is finally over. When Chris was gone I would do it when Wes went to bed or before Wes woke up in the morning. Now, I hate doing it in the evening because I just wanna be with Chris, I do not wanna be wasting my time doing schoolwork when I could be with my soldier. Yes, I know I wouldn't be "wasting" time, but I wanna just soak up the time that we have together. So, I find myself doing my assignments last minute, which I need to quit that asap. I also find it harder to get away with the house being a mess. When Chris was gone, I would get up in the morning and head over to Kim's and look at the house and tell myself I will clean it tomorrow, it was always tomorrow lol. Now, I can't get away with that shenanigans. Since I'm stuck in the freaking house all day (I totaled my car this summer, so I won't be getting a new one until May) due to no car, I have no excuse, but since he is only getting home at around 11am or 12pm (half days since his unit just got back), I just use the excuse that I clean when Wes naps or that I haven't gotten to it yet haha!
          Don't get me wrong I love my husband and I love him being home, but having to be reminded when there are dishes in the sink, or laundry to be washed, or messes to be cleaned really grinds my gears. I know it's there, I just don't feel like doing it at that moment in time lmao. I'm not lazy or a dirty person, I'm just use to doing what I have been doing for a whole year now and I can't just flip a switch.I am trying my hardest to have the patience, but every now and again an angry, not so nice word slips out of my mouth to let Chris know my feelings on his "reminders."
          I love having the extra help with Wes and with the house, it's awesome! The only thing Chris needs is some patience. That's all I ask lol. He is awesome on everything else, but the patience department! He is a great father and Wes just loves him to pieces. We hope to add to our family sometime soon! I can't wait for Wes to finally have a little sibling! He is going to be an awesome big brother. I know things will fall into place and I'll get the hang of things and learn how to balance them with Chris back home just as I did when he left, but it's going to take some time and I know I have the patience to survive this transition. I love my soldier!

Whatever the Army throws our Way, I'll be by your side.

So, I have been missing for a little over a week due to my husband coming back from his first deployment! Yep, we survived our first deployment! Although there have been some rough patches because of him transitioning back into our home, we are ecstatic to finally have him back. It's weird to think that he has been gone for a year. Yes, I know he was gone obviously because we lived through his absence, but I look back on everything and it makes me sad to think of everything he missed while being gone. Our son says full sentences now! Chris left when Wes was 15 months, he came back and he is now 2 years and 3 months, which is a big difference and a huge change.
          While Chris was deployed he decided that he wanted to reenlist, not only for 3 years like we originally planned when he joined, but for 5 years! I do support my husband, but I'm not sure I wanna do this career army lifestyle thing. We've (and yes I say WE because it is us who are in, we all move with Chris and we deal with deployments and training etc etc all together) been in coming up on 4 years, but it feels like forever! I can't even remember how life without the Army was. His date to get out would be September 2012; I just keep thinking that this would be our last full year in the Army. How awesome would that be? No more Army life and moving back home to sweet home Alabama! I would love that! I cannot deny that the Army has been good to us, without it we would not have our sweet little boy, our cars almost paid off, a good chunk of money coming our way, etc. It's been amazing, but I just want our time to be already over with. It would be awesome to get out and get back to normal civi life. I know it won't happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? I don't want to deal with another deployment, but I know if he stays in, it's inevitable. My life is planned around the Army, you plan something without including the Army and they screw up your plans last minute. So, you must always have in the back of your mind to make sure your plans are flexible because 99.9% of the time you will have to change them. I don't know where this journey will take us, but I'll stay on this ride supporting my soldier.


"Deployments last a few months, but our love lasts..forever"         

Deployment Survival Guide

This deployment survival guide was created for those of you who are or will be going through a deployment. Here are a few tips and ideas to help you get through the worst days while your service member is away. Each idea was submitted by members of our community (formerly known as ArmySpouseLife.com). A BIG thank you goes out to everyone who contributed to it.

1. STAY POSITIVE. Take it one day at a time and focus on the present, and look forward to the future. Playing the “what if” game for a long period of time WILL drive you insane. The days only get better!

2. It’s ok to be sad, to cry, and to scream every once in a while. It’s ok to not be ok! Bottling up those emotions are only going to hurt you in the long run. You can talk to someone about it, or write it all down. You’ll feel a lot better after you do. Also, remember that your service member isn’t leaving you just to leave you, this is his/her job. He/she needs you to be strong, especially when he/she needs support. It’s not fair to make them feel guilty, even when you feel justified in doing so.

3. Count down by Sundays (per week) instead of EVERY day. 56 is a much smaller number than 365! Having this kind of countdowns makes the time seem to pass a lot faster.

4. Take this time to learn something new. Grow as a person, learn a new skill, get a new hobby, etc. Your service member will be impressed when he/she gets home. ;)

5. If you can’t seem to pick yourself up out of bed or dry the tears from running down your cheeks stop and think a second if my service member was here right now what would he/she be saying to me? What would they think of my crying now? What would they tell me to do to make it all better? And then if you don’t guilt yourself into stopping at least try to get up and do what you think they might tell you to do. Remember the reason why you are doing this in the first place – because you are in love with the most wonderful man/woman in the world and it will all be worth it in the end.

6. Write in a journal everyday or night. Put down your thoughts, feelings, what you did and anything else. You could then show it to your soldier when he/she gets back. They’ll really enjoy reading about stuff you weren’t able to tell them on emails or phone calls during their deployment.

7. To ensure you don’t go crazy with all your built up conversations you want to share with your service member email them when they come to you. I set my email up to my phone so it feels just like I’m texting him still. And then when we do get to talk we touch on what I sent him or just have a whole new conversation. It makes me feel like we get to talk more often than we actually get to.

8. Take pictures or videos of random moments you & your service member have. Something that has been wonderful for us are the videos I took before my husband left. Now, these are just basic 1 minute long videos of my soldier brushing his teeth, telling me funny jokes, etc. I used my camera & my cell phone for these..they both have a video setting. Super easy & then I uploaded them onto my computer. On down days when I just needed a smile, a laugh or to hear his voice… I get to hit play and there he is.

9. Keep yourself busy. I volunteer at the school my kids go to, at church and community every chance I get. It keeps me so busy that I am not thinking about my spouse all the time and getting depressed about it. While I am working I am able to talk to other spouses that are going through the same thing or have similar interests.

10. Get a box to put all your keepsakes in. I have printed off our texts & emails & put them in our special box. They go right along with all our little momentos, letters & cards we’ve given each other so far. We will really enjoy reading over these one day. This is also a great way to keep yourself busy; decorate it, add more to it, etc.

11. Let your friends be there for you. They will never understand what you are going through, but they CAN listen and they mean well.

12. Make friends with people on sites like this! They are the only people that can ever truly understand what you feel, and people who are on these sites truly want to help you and can become your very best friends, even if you never meet them in person.

13. Have a family plan! Make sure all paperwork is in order. Make sure you have given your spouse the correct POA (Power of Attorney). Some may ask “What is a family plan?” Without your spouse with you, it’s important to carry on the normal task of paying bills, making purchases and taking care of the family. A lot of decisions can be made before the deployment. What do I pay? What do I save? On big purchases, what do I buy? My husband and I not only discuss the unpleasant what ifs, but the what is too. Taking charge of a deployment in your life can become a positive personal adventure. You have the ability and responsibility to meet your spouse at the end of the deployment: a whole person, who has grown personally and has continued the task of moving your family forward.

14. Keep pictures of the both of you together in your nightstand, purse, car, etc. That way every time you look at them you can relive that moment and how much you love & care about each other. :)

15. Try to maintain some sense of normalcy, the more routine you make things, the faster the time will go! Continue to do things like go to the movies, go shopping with friends, etc. Whether you are living your life or curled up in a ball of tears for the next year, your service member will not come home any faster, so you just as soon make the best of it and enjoy every single second you get to chat online or talk on the phone with your loved one!

16. Let this be a positive experience for your relationship. Whether this is your S.O, family member, or friend we’re talking about here, let this deployment bring you closer and make you stronger together. Be there for each other. It can only bring you apart if you LET it. No amount of time or distance can change how you feel about each other unless you both let that happen!

(I did not write this; came across this in  a facebook note, GREAT for anyone about to or going through a deployment, especially your 1st!)

Snow In the Desert

Wes enjoying the snow at home.

He is 2 years&&3 months old.

It's snowing! I am loving this! It almost never snows in central Alabama, which is where I was born and raised. I am not about to get on the road, one of 2 reasons. One being, I don't have airbags (that's another story for another day) and two being that El Pasoans and myself included, have no idea how to drive on the roads. So, we are stuck inside and enjoying a snow day. I built a snowbaby, it can't even be called a snowman because it's no bigger than toddler. Pretty sad, but it will suffice my need to build one for now. Sophia, my sweet kitty is somewhere out in this horrible mess. She has now been officially missing for a whole day! I am worried about getting her back, but there were pawprints in the snow this morning so I am hopeful she is close, just taking refuge somewhere warm.          

All for my Little Love

So, today I started my classes back for school! I am going for my Bachelor's in Elementary Education. I am attending online because I tried the going-to-school-on-campus  thing, but that obviously did not work out. I think I just don't want to leave Wes because I HAD to leave him when I was in high school, and now I don't really have too.
          I gave birth to Wes my first semester of my senior year in high school. Yes, he was planned, but my plans did not go the way I wanted them too, so thus he was born then. If my plans did go the way I had planned, I would have home schooled while I lived in Texas with Chris and he would have been there for Wes's birth.
          Chris joined the Army my Junior year of high school. I did NOT want him to have anything to do with the military! I thought everyone who joined the military died (yes, I know an ignorant thought, but hey, I was young & ignorant!). He started going to the recruiters station in Hoover and getting more information about the Army. I knew deep down that it was probably the best thing for him because he was totally not made for the classroom. He loved sports in high school and I knew he missed it. So finally in September,  Army life became real,  he left the day after my birthday (Septmeber 26th, 2007) for Montgomery to be sworn into the U.S. Army. After he left Montgomery, he would be headed to Ft. Jackson, SC for Basic Training. My mother, Chris's mother, myself, and Chris headed to the Hoover recruiting staion to say goodbye. We stopped by the Mexican restaurant right beside the recruiting staion to have lunch before Chris left to montgomery. Ever Since, We always seem to stop by that same restaurant to have a meal anytime Chris leaves anywhere else.
          Well, Chris left and then headed for basic. Meanwhile I was stuck in Alabaster busy with school, Volleyball, and work. It was quite different not having Chris around. We had been with eachother almost every day since we had been together (1/8/06). I missed him alot, but with everything going on in my life I did not have time to focus on him being gone. Finally came Decemeber! Chris was set to graduate on December 8th, 2007, but the day before was family day. I would have a whole day with Chris after three months! I was so excited!
          We (Chris's parents, 2 sisters, and brother) left Alabama and headed for South Carolina on December 6th, 2007. We got there later that night. The next morning we all got up early and headed for post. I will NEVER forget how cold it was that day! I had 2 jackets on, yet I was still freezing. I think we waited at least an hour before the activities for family day started. The soldiers came out from the woods and did a skit. There were some words spoken, but I was not listening at all; just looking for MY soldier. Then he said the words that everyone wanted to hear "Go find your soldier!" It was crazy there were so many people everywhere I looked around for him and then I heard his mom call my name. I turned around and there he stood. He was so different! He looked good with his uniform on and I just gave him a huge hug. I had missed him so much and finally there he stood right in front of me!
          He was allowed to leave with us for the day and we went to the PX, which I was absolutely fascinated with lol. We toured the post and looked around. I remember trying to give him a kiss and him FREAKING out saying he was going to get into so much trouble! I laugh so hard now and remember how scared he was about all those rules!
          He graduated the next day and I remember feeling so proud of him. It's a feeling I can't describe, just seeing him in his Class A's made my heart melt. He was acting really strange after he graduated. I remember us going up to the hotel room and his parent's and grandparents (they had joined us) kind of just disappeared. I sat down in one of the side chairs and he started pacing, and then he looked really scared. He got down on one knee (in his Class A's!) and opened the box with a beautiful engagement ring! The only thing that was missing was the words coming out of his mouth saying "Will you marry me?" Yeah, he forgot to ask! So he asked me, "So, will you?" I told him he hadn't asked me anything. Of course after he finally asked me I gave him a huge kiss and hug and said "YES!"
          Chris had to stay back and wait for Christmas exodus and I went back to school with a RING! Of course I kept that on the down low since I was only a JUNIOR!
          While Chris was back on Christmas exodus he bought me a beautiful red mustang and we thought why wait? Let's get married now! So, we did! On December 28th, 2007 we were married; A 19 year old and a 17 year old. I look back now and think we were CRAZY, but I would not change a thing! So I returned to school and Chris returned to to army life at Redstone Arsenal, married.
          Since Chris was only in Huntsville (a 3 hour drive), I would go up and see him on the weekends. We talked and planned. We decided we wanted to start a family. He had a stable job and when he got stationed somewhere, I would just stay home with our baby and home school. Well I got pregnant a month after we were married  and right as others found out I was married, they also found out I was pregnant. So, just to put that out there, I GOT MARRIED BEFORE I WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR PLANNED LITTLE BLESSING! OK, I feel better.
          Chris was stationed at Ft. Bliss, TX for the rest of his AIT. He got to Bliss in February and I joined him in March. We got an apartment and I started school in SISD. Money was tight and scarce, but I was so happy to finally be with my husband. In Alabama I had already passed all my required tests to graduate, but since I had moved to Texas I would have to take them all over again. Since money was tight and I would not be graduating if I had stayed there we decided that we would move me back to Alabama. The day I left was a quiet one. I in no way shape or form wanted to leave my husband. He would be missing everything about my pregnancy and most important our son's birth. We both knew it was for the best, but that did not make me feel any better.
          November came and our little boy was born. It was the best day of my life and it would have been better if Chris had not missed it. I am so thankful my mom was there for me through it all though. I went back to school in December and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, to leave my son. He stayed with a good friend of the family, but I still hated to leave him. I missed a lot of school because I did not want to leave him and in fact I was out the whole month of February because I hated the thought of leaving him at all.
          My sophomore English teacher spoke with me and inspired me to finally get back in school. I only had a few months left then I could be with Wes all I wanted. Well, I graduated thanks to a lot of support from my mom and sister. I was so proud of myself.

          So after that long explanation, I just cringe at the thought of leaving Wes on a regular basis, even to go to school. I tried to leave him in January 2010 to attend school at EPCC, well my poor baby was not immune to all the daycare diseases and he ended up with a double ear infection which caused one of his eardrums to burst. He is fine now, but I think it's a sign I shouldn't leave him. They are only little once and I don't wanna miss a thing. So, Ill just stick with my online courses. I am doing this because I want to inspire my son to achieve as much as he can, no excuses. So when he tells me "Mom it's too hard." or anything else I can say I did it by myself with a toddler, while balancing a household. I am excited to get started back to provide a better future for my son and to provide all that he needs. I know when he is older he will look back and be proud. That's all that really matters to me. I see who I want to be in my son's eyes.

         
         

Looking back over Deployment 2010

It's finally January! I cannot believe I will almost have my soldier home in my arms! I have missed him so much! I cannot wait to finally fill the lonely nights with some adult conversation, feel a warm body beside me in bed, and wake up to him instead of a wall. I have some amazing freinds who have helped me through this year. This year I have grown, matured, and I've become a much more independent individual. The summer of 2010 was NOT the best summer I have ever had, but I would not have changed a thing. I made tons of friends and I lost tons of friends. The ones who are around now are really the only ones who matter to me. I have had my parenting questioned. I've encountered "mean" girls. I've seen the ugliest of people revealed. I've seen words tear apart people. I've seen that words really do hurt. I've also felt that words can hurt. Even though Sybil (we will call her Sybil because she sure as hell acts like her) caused me so much drama this summer; I thank god for sending her into my life. I would have NEVER met the amazing girls who are in my life now if it were not for her. Sybil lead me to one amazing girl that I will NEVER forget as long as I am on this earth. This girl has been there to help me out when I needed ANYTHING! I know I can come to her and she will always be there. She has made me appreciate and love my little Wes a thousand times more (which I did not know was possible). I know God will bless her with children, she is too good of a person and has so much love to give to not to be a mother. When her time comes, she will make an amazing mommy to her little ones. I have never met anyone as geniune as her. I feel like I have known her my whole life; when in fact, it has been less than a year. I believe God put us in eachother's lives for a reason. I will always have a special place for her.
      Deployment was no easy feat. In a couple of weeks I can finally say "I SURVIVED MY FIRST DEPLOYMENT!" Not only did I survive a whole year without my husband, but that also includes handling being our son's mommy and making up the loss of not having daddy around,  Wes's first surgery, our first house flood, my ER trip for my massive migrain, a totaled car, putting Chris's car back together in order to drive it, and lastly one ER trip for Wes due to a busted forehead. That may be one eventful 1st Deployment,but me and my Wes did it! I also owe a huge thank you to an army wife that helped me go to the junk yard and look to find things for the mustang and then installed them for me. I will never forget that kindness and although we are no longer friends over trivial reasons, I hope to repay her for her kindness one day. I will never forget how much you helped me!
     God puts people in to our life for a reason. Some for only moments, some for years, and others for a lifetime. No matter the length, they all have a purpose.